


Shake it off!

by GinAndMilk



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Dancing, Dialogue Heavy, Episode Style, Fluff and Angst, I'll tag as I go, Lots of Music, M/M, Main focus on pairing, Mental Health Issues, More characters to be added, Not Beta Read, Shyness, Tourette's Syndrome, inner monologue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-09-10 16:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8924518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinAndMilk/pseuds/GinAndMilk
Summary: Structure was good.Structure was what kept him going.But what happens when someone comes along and shakes up his life like a snow globe?A mix of humor, self-discovery and honest love. Enjoy people!





	1. Prologue

There was barely anything in his life which didn't go as planned.

Routine was key to keep the mess in his head at bay, it was everything and he strictly followed it day in day out. He knew his boundaries and had decided long ago not to push them, avoid the things which he knew would set off the tics and stick to the schedule.

On this Thursday evening though things were not going as usual. He found himself standing outside a foreign building, the sign over the door stating 'Ms. Elllas School for dancing' and the telltale itch ran down the side of his neck. A group of laughing girls with colourful shirts and bouncing ponytales exited the buildung. _Not now._

He willed down the urge to tic and checked his phone again. The text from the yoga teacher was still the same as it had been the last couple of times he had checked it, pipe burst at the studio, same time as usual but at Ms. Elllas dancing school, sorry for the inconvenience yada-yada-yada.

Overall nothing special, except that it was. The usual environment provided safety, no strange looks or judging snorts but this confronted him with a whole new situation. The yoga classes usually helped with stress relief and calmed his tics considerably, given that they took place in the usual small studio with the usual group. The people in his group knew about his  _thing_ and barely noticed it anymore but now he had to make his way through a crowd of unknown people and the mere thought of it made him tic.  _In and out, breathe, don't let it throw you._

Still unsure of the situation he climbed the stairs and entered the building to be promptly greeted by the receptionist

 

“Hi, can I hep?” she asked with a smile.

 

“Yeah, I'm here for,” the sharp tic in his neck forced him to pause “the yoga class?”

 

“It's in studio three, up the stairs the green door on the left hand side. The changing room is two doors down.”

 

He thanked her quietly and made his way up the flight of stairs, keeping his gaze down and slipping into the changing room. The familiar faces he spotted helped to ease the anxiety which the bustle of people around him had raised and once inside the studio it faded to the backround so he barely noticed it.

The routine hadn't changed and his body melted into it without even thinking which allowed his mind to rest and leave everything outside the room behind him. It granted his mind the rest it longed for and even if a tic would make an appearance it was so minor he barely even noticed it.

The class ended too quickly, which it always did but after an hour of only him and his body without any distractions he felt grounded enough to face the world outside the studio.

Since most classes going on inside the other studios seemed not to be finished yet the hallway was close to empty so he decided to take his time and he cast a glance through the glass door through which a group of girls with buns and leotards had rushed earlier.

They stood along the barre, all facing in the same direction and holding a pose while the piano song playing in the backround faded slowly. Concentration showed on their faces and he envied them, they all held the pose without so much as twitching.

A man passed along the barre and corrected the girls poses, he looked like about his age and he couldn't help but stare at him. Once the teacher had finshed with the last girl they finished the excersise gracefully and he looked towards the door and their eyes met briefly.

The teachers gaze lingered and he felt caught, as if he had been watching something he shouldn't have. Shuffling backwards, away from the door he broke the eye contact and hurried towards the changing room.

He got changed quickly and walked past the door with his gaze fixed on the floor. The beautiful stranger lingered on his mind though for the rest of that night and longer.

 

 


	2. Hot Milk

In the middle of the night Robb lay awake and stared at the ceiling.

A dreamy smile tucked at the corners of his mouth, he hadn't been able to to wipe it off his face for the whole day and it dawned on him that he might have a crush. On a dance teacher. Whom he had seen once. For less than ten seconds.

Grudgingly Robb had to admit to himself that he hadn't had a proper crush since...well he didn't even know since when but having to deal with uni and a rather annoying tic disorder along the way used to be enough if an excuse for a lacking love life up to now. Emphasis on used to, he had finished uni a good seven months ago and now had a steady job with steady income and rather low stress levels so it became harder to find excuses. There were few reasons not to go for some drinks with his colleagues after work, after all his Tourettes was nothing new and he had his ways to deal with it but what kept him from going out was the sudden rush of anxiety which never failed to make an appearance after a long day at work.

Up until merely a year ago he had spent his life in a bubble his mother had created, she didn't like the thought of him drawing any kind of attention to her family, she was an MPs wife after all and she too had duties. She had only wanted the best for her eldest son but always kept him hidden away and it had almost worked.

Almost. The fact that Robb was where was now was proof of that. Argument was no word for what had happened between him and his mother and it ended in slammed doors and weeks of total silence between the two.

Robb had packed his bags and moved out of the flat he had shared with Theon during uni, they weren't really friends and had more or less shared the appartment because they were used to it, not because they actually wanted to. Another of his mothers great ideas, she put him in a flat with his foster brother because she didn't like the thought of him staying alone.

He hadn't made any bad decisions in his life and didn't even know how to if he was being honest with himself, and dating had at times seemed like one.

But no now, not with the dance teacher stuck in his head. Almost tentatively he reached across the bed and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. A little research couldn't hurt.

The website of Ms. Ellas School for dancing was exactly as he had imagined it, rather pink with photos if pointe shoes and girls in tutus and he tapped on the menu item 'Teachers'. Robb felt his heart beat against his ribs as he scrolled past the first few photos until he found the one he had been looking for. It was no fancy black and white photo or anything, nothing special really rather just his now-crush in black pants and a white v-neck casually leaning against the barre, but it made a bunch of butterflies errupt nonetheless. Jon; Ballet, Contemporary it read next to the photo and Robb turned the name in his mind. It suited him.

Suddenly, a feeling of invading someones space made him put his phone aside and he wondered wether this little excursion made him a stalker or not.

_Now you know his name, great, isn't any good though is it?_

Still, his yoga class would take place at Ms. Ellas for at least three more weeks but this raised only more questions.

_So you can walk past the door at least three more times._

Would he seem like a creep if he just waited for the other class to finish? And even if he waited, would he take the opportunity?

Right then and there, Robb made a decision. Just do it! Or give your best at least.

_There'll be no more backing out from tomorrow morning on!_

Drinks with colleagues from work for the beginning and at least another creepy walk past the door on Thursday.

 

Robb fell asleep with the content feeling of a decision made, but little did he know that his well laid out plan were going to fail.

 


	3. Lager

What followed was a shitty morning worth remembering. He had overslept his alarm, cut while shaving and clicked so much on the train that people noticed and started giving him looks like he had escaped a freak show. Great start to the day.

It was only at lunchbreak that Robbs thoughts drifted back to last Thursday and Jon, whose name he only knew because he had looked him up in a fit of stalking which now, in relentless daylight seemed even more embarrassing. Although he had seen him only once Robb could perfectly well imagine him dancing, his body was muscular but still wiry with a natural grace.

_Oh listen to yourself, swooning like a girl._

A few hours later Robb could only think of three words to describe the currrent situation: Worst. Idea. Ever.

Granted, there were worse things than simply being bored out of your mind but he had been admittedly rather proud of himself that he had managed to overcome his worries and joined his colleagues. He simply hadn't been prepared for the boredom of watching them trying to get off with girls so he kept a low profile in conversation and quietly nursed his drink. Being kind of 'different' as people liked to put it seemed enough for now, they didn't have to know that he was gay on top of it.

He peered into his empty glass and pushed away from the table to make his way through the chattering crowd towards the bar. It had taken a lot of self-convincing to actually come here, the day had been annoying enough and after a good amount of nervousness followed by a good amount of tics and, to put it carefully, a pretty bad mood.

But his decision would not be swayed so he had grudgingly wound his scarf around his neck against the crisp winter air and thanked the god he didn't believe in that his tics had calmed. All his excuses to back out of it were gone so he might as well enjoy the night.

He ordered another drink and let his gaze drift across the room. The pub was crowded with people out for a pint after work, just like him but that didn't make it less boring to be fair.

 

“Hi”

 

Robbs head whirled towards the voice “Hello.” _No,no,no! I wanted to walk past the door a couple more times first! Okay, play it cool._

 

“It was you outside the studio the other day, right?”

 

“Uh, yeah.” the rest of his phrase was cut short by three clicks and a forceful blink “Sorry.” _So much for playing it cool._

 

“Thats alright,” the other man answered smoothly and turned his glass on the bar “people come and watch all the time but mostly it's overzealous mums not...”

 

_I didn't apologise for...oh!_ “Not what?” he asked sheepishly and felt a spark of confidence. 

 

“You know, cute guys.” casual, just like that “I'm Jon by the way.”

 

_Screw you and your long lashes, stop making me nervous!_ “Robb. Nice to meet you.”

_Nice to meet you, what is this, primary school? Oh my._

 

A smile tucked at sinfully full lips and a few little laughter lines made an appearance around eyes like molten chocolate. Robb was by all means of the word enarmoured, which was why he missed the moment of tension before...

 

“Youreyesarebeautiful.” _Shit,no,no,no,no!_ The blurting out subconscious thoughts hadn't happened in a little while so Robb had qietly hoped he had gotten rid of it. Up to two seconds ago that was. His hand tightly gripped the edge of the bar trying to re-channel the energy to avoid more tics “Shit, sorry, that was, I didn't mean to it was...”

 

“Cute?”

 

“No, I mean it was...” Robbs rambling was cut short again by a girl calling Jons name which caused him to turn his head towards the voice and nod.

 

“Sorry, my mates are leaving.” he explained with an apologetic smile and fished a pen from his back pocket “I think you know where to find me.” a stray piece of curly hair fell over his face while he scribbled a row of digits onto a napkin from the bar and Robb resisted the urge to brush it back “Hope I'll hear from you.” he smiled again before pushing his way through the crowd and out of Robbs sight.

 

The latter was left at the bar with a phone number on a napkin and a stale drink. Not half bad for now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are going to get longer at some point...I hope :D


	4. Gin&Tonic

The week dragged on and when Thursday roled around Robb felt so exhausted he wanted to dig a hole in the ground and hide inside of it from the world bringing him down. A new project at work kept the whole team at their toes and he had worked overtime more often than not this week which resulted in way less sleep than usual. The constant pressure at work didn't help his anxiety either and thus his tics increased to an annoyingly high frequency, leaving him sore and fed up. His neck hurt from twitching and cracking it so much and every hum and click tore at his nerves.

Overall, not a good week. When he entered Ms. Ellas he was so caught in his own bubble of frustration that didn't think about anything else than getting changed and on his mat.

Though the lesson went well he still felt the need of collecting himself and his thoughts for a moment longer, so he asked the teacher wether he could stay a little while longer.

Lucky for him she knew that the room was empty after the lesson and tolf him that she would let the receptionist know.

He was truly grateful that he could stay here and unwind for a couple more minutes. The week had worn him out, physically and mentally and although there was only one day left before the weekend he needed all his strength for it.

Robb placed his palms flat on the floor, hands on either side of the mat and closed his eyes with a deep breath. The parquet was warm and solid underneath his palms and a feeling of being grounded spread throughout his body. Another deep breath and the tension began to melt away further, the stress of the day fading to the backround along with his worries. There was no itch, no prickling, no tension raising the urge to tic, just warm relaxation and only the faint ache in his neck interrupted it slighly.

Robb forgot the time, space and everything around him but was pulled back to reality rather abruptly when the door swung open.

“Sorry!”

 

He turned towards the voice. It was Jon “Hi.” Robb said with a smile.

 

“Hi yourself,” he returned the smile but remained standing in the doorway “I thought the studio was empty after Yoga, sorry.”

 

“It is, I just asked if I could stay for a little while longer.” Robb rose from the floor “but if you need it I'll go.”

 

“No, no. Stay. I just wanted to put my stuff in here for tomorrow but that can wait. I didn't mean to interrupt, you looked so concentrated.” he said almost apologetically.

 

“I'm finished anyway.” Robb shrugged it off and began to roll up his mat.

 

“Me too.” Jon let the door fall shut behind him put a stack of CDs next to the stereo.

 

Hit by a sudden rush of confidence, and a glimpse of a very appealing backside Robb spoke again “What are you doing later?”

 

“Nothing much, why?”

 

“Would a drink be enough to make up for not calling?” Robb asked with a hint of shyness and shifted his weight.

 

A slow smile spread on Jons face and he cocked his head “I think so.”

 

Robb collected his things but excused himself to get changed and take a quick shower. He always brought a fresh jumper for the train home and he gave himself a swift once over in the changing room mirror. The dark blue of the jumper brought out his eyes and went along quite nicely with the grey slacks, even his hair had decided to play along for once.

_You asked him out. You're amazing._

He slipped into his jacket and slung his backpack over one shoulder before heading outside.

Jon was waiting for him at the foot of the front steps and Robb felt his mouth going dry when he clasped eyes on him. Dark, skin tigh jeans barely leaving anything to imagination along with a dark red jumper and a figure hugging black peacoat almost made him miss that for the first time Jons hair wasn't tied up but fell loosely on his shoulders in thick black curls.

 

“Ready?” he asked with a smile and looked at Robb from behind black rimmed glasses.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I know a nice place not far from here.” Jon twisted the cigarette bud under his boot and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat.

Robb followed him down the street and still couldn't believe that this was actually happening, an actual date with an actual guy and before he even knew it two actual drinks standing between them on a corner table at a cosy pub.

 

He faintly recognized the song playing in the backround and dipped his finger in the cool puddle of condensated water forming next to his glass “Why did you give me your number, just like that I mean.”

 

Jon shrugged and stirred his drink with the straw “Just felt like it I guess.” Robb arched his eyebrow and Jon shrugged again and gave in quicker than expected “And because you're cute perhaps.”

 

“What if I was straight?” Robb asked with a hint of irony.

 

A knowing grin spread in his opposites face “You're not.”

 

“Still, I was a complete stranger.” he carried on. His neck itched slightly and he had to swallow thickly. _Not now, please. Not yet._

 

“Everyone is a stranger until you get to know them.” Jon carded a hand through his hair and his eyes lingered on Robbs.

 

“True.” he wanted to say more but he presently didn't trust his body with more than one word.

 

“See.”

 

Robb watched him lick his lips. Such a tease. “Yeah I mean,” he didn't get any further because his brain decided that he'd had enough quiet time and made his breath hitch audibly a couple of times before spastically cracking his neck.

Shame, that was all he felt. It relentlessly clenched inside of him and he kept his eyes cast down, not having the courage to look at Jon whom he had possibly scared away. Scratch possibly, most certainly rather.

 

“Hey,” Jons voice was soft “alright?”

 

He still couldn't work up the confidence to raise his gaze but nodded.

 

“Is that why you do yoga?”

 

This question made Robb look at him again “Yeah, why?” he retorted quietly.

 

“You stood out a little against all the yuppies and housewives.” Jon answered with a flash in his eyes and Robb let out a nervous laugh.

 

“It helps with my...”

 

“You don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.” he interrupted him when he noticed Robbs slight hesitation.

 

The sudden urge to back out of the situation melted away and Robb felt a fresh wave of confidence well up inside of him “It wouldn't feel right if I didn't,” he said with a firm voice “I do Yoga because” he had to click _For fucks sake, this isn't already awkward enough is it?_ “I have Tourettes and it calm my tics.”

 

“Is it working?”

 

“Yeah,” Robb scratched the back of his head “even if it doesn't look like it. It helps a lot with stress.”

 

“That's why a lot of people take dance classes as well, it helps them to leave their lives behind for an our or two and just focus on their bodies.”

 

“Exactly.” Robb had seldomly felt so understood and it was strange that it was by someone he barely even knew “You're not going to run away, are you?”

 

“No,” Jon smirked “Unless you want me to.”

 

“No.”

 

 

 

 


	5. Red Wine

“Okay so, I made a very adventerous plan.”

“I'm all ears.”

“Today, I'm going to pick you up after work.”

“And?

“We could just, hang out”

Jon laughed “Okay.”

+++++

 

The evening was chilly and a drizzle so light it made tiny droplets of water stick onto his scarf filled the air while Robb waited on the pavement outside Ms. Ellas. 

“I just have to drop this half a ton of stuff at my place, I'm afraid you'll have to tag along but I'm all yours after.” Jon announced with an apologetic shrug after descending the stairs.

“We could just chill at your place,” Robb suggested and cast a glance at the various bags Jon carried “if you don't mind of course.” he added, not wanting to seem pushy.

“If you don't mind a little chaos.”

Robb grinned and shook his head “Not really.”

The house was small and classically english. A blue front door opened into a narrow hallway, the floorboards creaked under their footsteps and Robb caught a glimpse of the living room at the end of the hallway. 

“My housemate is working tonight so, make yourself at home, I'll be back in a second.” Jon disappeared up the stairs and Robb took off his coat and put it on a hanger.

The living room was admittedly rather untidy but the decor was homely, little bits and pieces of knick-knack were on the shelves between books and records, a black cat slept curled up on a pillow. A photo caught his gaze and he approached the shelf.

"Your parents?" he asked when Jon entered the room and came to a halt next to him.

"Yeah," Jon answered smiling and went to the cabinet to fetch two glasses "they're a little...artsy." he added with a chuckle.

Robb looked at the loving smiles behind the thin glass and couldn't help but feel a tuck at his heart. Stark family photos never looked like that. “My father is an MP and he always wished for his eldest to follow in his footsteps but well,” he shrugged and had to click a couple of times “obviously not gonna happen." he still stood by the shelf and abstractedly ran his fingertips over the various records.

“Pick one.” His head whirled around towards Jon who smiled at him “Go ahead. I'll go get us a drink.”

Robb smiled back at him before returning his attention to the shelf. He browsed through it and he found everything from Kasabian over Adele to Pink Floyd but one caught his eye in particular. Carefully he removed the record from its thin paper cover and put it on the record player. A fine scratching sound was the only sound in the room for a brief moment before the first chords bled from the speakers.

“You like Hozier?” Jon asked and put a bottle of red wine onto the coffee table.

“Yeah,” Robb answered and put the record which had previously been on the player back into its cover before approaching the sofa “I can kind of relate to his music, if that's making any sense?”

“Sure."

“You're into M83?” he turned the cover in his hand. His neck twitched and he cursed himself.

“Lately yeah,” Jon took a step towards him and shifted his weight “they're good in the morning.”

Robb smirked. They stood before each other with nothing happening for a few heartbeats but suddenly Jons lips where on his. Caught by suprise he made a tiny squealing noise but soon after wrapped his hand around the other mans neck.

“This okay?” he asked after they had broken apart.

“More than okay.” Robb answered with a bright smile but then his gaze got caught by something on the floor and he cocked his head “Why does it say Beyonce on the cats bowl?”

“Because that's her name.” Jon answered a little baffled by Robbs sudden change of topic “My friend Ygritte put it on there in a fit of creativity.”

“Why is your cat called Beyonce?

“She looks like her, don't you think?”

Robb cast a glance at the cat and shook his head with a laugh “She looks like a fucking cat, Jon!”

“And how is it your business what I name my cat?” he asked with fake-accusation and pointed a finger at him.

“Just curious.” Robb smirked again.

“Yeah fine you got me, I like Beyonce okay, happy now?”

"Yes, I'm happy."


	6. Tea

“You look sad.” Sam stated upon finding Jon sitting on the floor of their balcony with his hands curled around a mug of tea “Are you sad?”

 

“I don't know.” he answered with a shrug “ Robb stopped replying my texts, no idea why. I thought it was going well but...yeah, I think I feel a bit sad and lonely. D'you wanna feel sad and lonely together?”

 

Sam eased himself on the floor next to him and took a biscuit from the pack lying between them. He munched on it quietly for a while before saying “Gilly is having a baby.”

 

“What?” Jons head whipped towards him.

 

Sam nodded “She called me earlier today, crying and all and told me that she was pregnant. Boom.”

 

“But...is it yours?” he asked hesitantly.

 

Sam shrugged and eyed the half eaten biscuit in his hand “Could be. Pretty unlikely though.”

 

“So what are you gonna do?”

 

“I don't know, if I leave her and it is mine I'll be the worst person ever but if we stay together and and its not can't leave either and end up stuck with her and another mans baby.” he explained and although he tried to hide it it was rather obvious that he was not ready to cope with the situation.

 

“Well...just forget the aspect if its yours or not for a second but, would you feel ready to raise a child and be father?”

 

“I don't know,” Sam repeated with an air of defeat “can we just perhaps change subject? I'd rather talk about the weather than asking myself wether I'm ready to be parent or not.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” Jon agreed and sipped his tea.

 

+++++++

 

“Do you want to leave?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do you think you're ready to leave?”

 

She asked that question every single day, and Robb knew the answer “No.”

 

Her pen scraped on the notepad and he wondered what she wrote down, tension built inside him and his mind automatically went into supressing mode. _Safe space,_ he reminded himself and let the tic happen. “I heard you had a dissociate episode this morning."

 

The memory was still too fresh, the rush of fear and panic sill too present to put into words so he just nodded.

 

“Any idea what might have triggered it?”

 

“No.” it was a defense mechanism but he didn't know against what. 

 

Although she tried to hide her disappointment behind a facade of proffessionalism her eyes gave her away “Robert I know I ask that every day, but what brought you here?”

 

“You know what happened.”

 

“That's right, but I want to know why it happened.”

 

“I don't know.” he looked at the painting on the wall opposite from him, black and bright green lines swirled across a hite backround like energy made visible on the canvas and it reminded him of Jon. His heart began to feel heavy at the thought of his phone locked away somewhere together with the opportunity to conctact him. He had barely noticed the last week passing by, things had been blurry and the world around him seemed to have slowed down. Up until a week ago things had looked good, stable. Now he felt aimless again, drifted through the days and shivered in the nights. The door fell closed behind him and he wandered through the hallway with his hands buried in his pockets, the walls were beige, the carpet was beige, everything seemed to be beige when suddenly something familiar caught his gaze. By the time he noticed it it was was already too late to back out

 

“Robb?”

 

He was too dumbstruck for a second to answer before he managed "Hi." Jon stood there, right before him, looking just as beautiful as in his semi-awake early morning dreams, question obvious in his eyes but Robb decided to ask first "What are you doing here?" the bright green visitor badge basically shouted at him how useless the question was but he couldn't stand the building silence.

 

"Visiting." his eyes darted around briefly "I guess that's why you didn't text."

 

"Yeah." Robb nodded and shifted his weight "Sorry."

 

"That's alright." their eyes lingered on each other and suddenly Jons lips were on his cheek, he felt his warmth and the tickle of his hair for a brief moment before Jon said "Call whenever you're ready." and with that he was gone.

Robb remained in the hallway, feeling a little less beige.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always welcome!


End file.
